Friends...?

My church rests heavily on the concept of relationship...love, love, love, relationships...as a matter of fact, the sermon this past weekend was on our primary responsibility as Christians to love each other (John 15:12). Ok, I get it, I was convicted, and as usual I'm wrong.

Can we love people from a distance???

And what about the unlovable??? Rewind about 6 months, got a sermon on that too!

I've always believed in the statement that the majority of the friendships that we make are for a season, for a purpose, and that few and far between will stand the test of time. This is more than a theory, it is something I have seen played out in my life too many times to count.

Sometimes it's just better to love people in our prayer life, but not in real life. <--That may not be theologically sound, but it's my thought at this moment.

I can love you and not like you!

I can love you and know that you do not need to be around me!

I can love you and be sorry for my mistakes.

I can love you and pray for your every happiness.

I can love you and try to repair the friendship, but I cannot dictate your behavior!

I can love you, and let you go...and maybe it's for the best. In spite of Judas' decision to betray Him, Jesus still loved him, but he could not change nor dictate the choices he would make. He knew that Judas would betray Him, and still accepted the kiss on the cheek.

Herein lies the difference between friendship and ministry. A very wise friend of mine recently explained the difference to me, and the inherent problems in confusing the two. Close friends constitute a give/take relationship: you both pour in and out of each other. Ministry friendships are characterized by a give/give scenario on the part of one person. The most important thing to remember? Don't confuse the two!!!!!! I am painfully aware that I have been guilty of this recently, and am paying the price of failed relationships because of my inability to acknowledge and differentiate the two categories. In trying to rectify the friendships, I am encountering resistance and coldness. My fault for blurring the lines.

So what are we supposed to do with these people that used to be our friends? Keep loving them, obviously. Keep trying? Or does there come a point where you just let them walk away?

And the ones that have wronged us? Forgive, again, obviously. But what about...trust?

I can love you, and not trust you.

Unfortunately, this particular place right now has me isolating to the point where if I don't feel absolute and total trust in a relationship, I do not want to be around the person. In searching for a biblical answer to this dilemma,  I can only fall on Jesus' approach to time alone with the Father. He spent His last 3 years DOING life with the same 12 men, but he regularly went off on His own for prayer and fellowship with God.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding --Proverbs 3:5

My own understanding is a disaster of lies from the enemy, and a resulting awareness that I'm not sure who or what to believe right now. So if you're a fairly new friend, I'm sorry for avoiding you, I just don't know you well enough for this season. And if you're an old friend, God bless you, I love you, thank you, you are treasured more than you know for your faithfulness right now.