It's Not Leprosy

There is a time in every woman's life that is confusing in so many ways. Which one, you might ask?

Being single.

Before you stop yourself and think Oh this is just one of those pathetic single girl ,why don't I have a boyfriend, poor me I'm so lonely rants, I challenge you to keep reading. This is SO NOT THAT.

Last night I went to a lovely women's fellowship evening at my church. Unlike the normal format, this particular monthly meeting featured a panel of five women discussing the challenges of daily life. While I would first like to say that I am blessed beyond measure by the women I meet that pour out their knowledge and experience, there was something that left me unsettled...

They were all married moms. Which leaves me with some very disturbing/haunting thoughts:

Are we promoting a culture that devalues singleness? Are we teaching women that marriage is the only key to fulfillment? Are we saying that a woman does not have a voice until she has a husband and a child?

Those things are damaging. I am reminded of some very famous words:

...the form of this world is passing away. But I want you to be without care...the unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world, how she may please her husband...she is happier if she remains as she is, according to my judgment and I think I also have the Spirit of God...

The great apostle Paul, in 1 Corinthians 7, speaks to us about the state of being single. Even Jesus promoted celibacy in Matthew 19:12.

Again, I must pause and clarify: I am not some man-hating woman that wants to be single forever. On the contrary, I'd truly like to be married one day. Kids, well, I'll leave that one up to God!

What I do not want, is to be subtly told that I'm less of a servant, less of a voice, less of a person in ministry, just because I don't have a husband.

Because what if I don't ever marry? What about all the women who will never have a husband or kids? Are they banned from being powerful because they lack a husband? I think that Paul's words should echo and resonate in our churches, in our faith, in our spirituality. Yes, marriage is a beautiful thing, the closest relationship on earth to the one we have with God. But it is not an end state that makes everything perfect.

I do not have to choose between God and my husband, my kids, the laundry, the dishes, reading the Bible, quiet time with Him, committing to fellowship. There is no daily struggle between the other members of my fleshly family and God's will in my life. I am completely free to serve Him exactly as He commands. And THAT, my friends, is really a beautiful thing.