Sin

It's like taking one step forward, and two steps back. 

I feel like Paul, or David. Just a complete screw up. 

Everything has a purpose and a plan. Amazing how I had to be reminded of that about an hour ago. I look back on the past decade, and I'm like, "Wow, God, you knew exactly what you were doing. You were shaping me to be this specific person with every awful thing, every single day, both good and bad." Somehow I'm having a harder time buying it today. 

But I need something MORE! For if I know the law but still can't keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don't have what it takes. I can will it, but I can't DO it. I decide to do good, but I don't really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don't result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time. --Romans 7:17-20 MSG

The sinner Paul, the apostle Paul, the murderer Paul, wrote those words. A friend told me one day that we have to learn to live in God's love, and to love God, without thinking of ourselves as horrible, sinful people. Pretty sure I can't exactly do that, because I'm a sinful, horrible person. 

I heard a comment the other day that temptation was not sin. Jesus faced temptation, but He never gave in. The perfectionist in me wants to be that way, but how unrealistic is that? There's a reason why He is the only perfect person EVER...so that he would be worthy to take on the payment for the rest of us wicked little people. 

I really hate Satan....just sayin...