A Spirit of Insecurity

It has been a long, distracting weekend (yes, I realize Tuesday means it's officially over). As I begin to write this, I am plagued by a thought, "Am I selfishly blogging? Or is this helping people?" I want to be helping, but in creeps that voice that's been saying the same thing to me for days...

I would like to preface the rest by saying that insecurity is not one of my normal battles. Arrogance, pride, ambition, cockiness absolutely....and not particularly born of a low self-esteem. I have to check my inflated ego on a daily basis. So to be completely slammed by the opposite has been stressful, painful, destructive, to name a few.

Part of me wants to itemize all the things that were said to me over the weekend, by so many different people, that echoed that sentiment above. I just kept hearing it in the unspoken words of almost every conversation...NOT GOOD ENOUGH!

So I broke: I took all that pain and tried to put it somewhere it did not need to be. As a result, I ended up crying (hysterically), and saying some awful things to some of my closest friends. *sigh* I'm not perfect either.

As I was pouring out that hurt the other day, I remember rambling about how I was so tired of trying to please everyone else, of caring what anyone else thought, and that I was tired of trying to be good enough for people who weren't even good enough themselves. I was reminded that I'm never going to be good enough in theory, but in actuality, I'm absolutely, perfectly, wonderfully good enough for the One who loves me best.

The Spirit Himself bears witnesss with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs - and joint heirs with Christ...Romans 8:16-17

And God raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus...Ephesians 2:6

You are all sons (daughters) of light and sons (daughters) of the day...1 Thessalonians 5:5

You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden...Matthew 5:14

You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain...John 15:16

You are no longer a slave but a son (daughter), and if a son (daughter), then an heir of God through Christ...Galatians 4:7

And my personal favorite: You are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation...1 Peter 2:9

These are only a small handful of the promises that He has given us...that we are righteous, holy, loved, and yes...GOOD ENOUGH. It is the enemy who tries to come and break us with this lie, this feeling that we are never going to measure up. It's a powerful thing to believe, but God tells us otherwise.

What lies has the devil made you believe that whispered maliciously those words???