I Have My Moments

Give me faith to trust what You say, that You’re good, and Your love is great…

I love this song, although I usually don’t have problems with faith. I would be lost without my greatest spiritual gift, and I watch others struggle with faith, and am grateful that it is one area where I do not. I have my own issues, however… As the song goes on, it says, I may be weak, but your Spirit’s strong in me…my flesh may fail, but my God You never will! It has always in the past reminded me of the times when I did in fact fail, because I am weak, but God turned my horrible mess into an amazing message.

Trials are exhausting, and I’m positive that someone is saying “Amen” right now!  There is a purpose for them, as we are reminded several times by Paul:

…we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance (Romans 5:3)…

I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be reveled in us (Romans 8:18)…No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be temped beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it (1 Corinthians 10:13)…And He said to me, My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9).

James admonishes us to count it all joy when you fall into various trials…1:2. While there always comes a point where I am able to smile in the face of whatever adversity is at my door, I’ll be honest….there is about a 24 hour window of full-on pity party sulking. These are the 86,400 seconds that very few people see: lying in bed, listening to worship music, crying, praying, griping, reading His word, crying, staring blankly into space, holding my head in my hands, more crying, more praying, more worship music, lying in bed despondently (yeah), more griping, more Scripture…repeat as necessary.

It takes some time to wrap my brain around the fact that I’m absolutely gonna have to suck it up and let it go, and trust Him to handle whatever crazy, random, overwhelming, insane scenario has come my way. Then I begin to feel foolish, and start to remember that this will pass, that these trials and tribulations are about bringing me to a stronger place, that every good thing is from God, that He has everything handled, that our testimony matches our call, and that my name means resurrection. With a name like that, I’m just not gonna get off easy in this thing called life…I am, however, going to take all of these experiences in their moment to display faith that is much greater than a mustard seed, grace that covers all brokenness, joy that bursts forth in worship, and hope that is unending. <3