I saw this quote today, and immediately it hit home to me. A lot of people throw around the love word like it has little meaning, and at times in our society, it seems to not. I am going on record to say that I love a lot of people, truly, honestly love them, for exactly who they are, faults and all, and wish them nothing but the best. For the most part, these people are in my life, but some of them are not. In some cases, circumstances, or just life in general, has created a situation where we are NOT in each others' lives. I still love them, and wish them every happiness.
I was seriously in love once. I mean, from your head to your toes, every single cell in your body, giving everything you have, completely open, regardless of what happens, in love. It was amazing, and it was awful. And he's one of my best friends, to this day. The entire story is a disaster, but let's just sum it up by saying that things didn't work out...in a rather shocking and graphic way. I got hurt, more than I ever thought possible, somewhat lost my mind in the process, and wondered how it was humanly possible to survive losing someone that I cared so incredibly much for.
When people hear the story in it's full craziness, they look at me with incredulity, and wonder why in the world I still speak to this person, let alone consider them one of my closest friends. But this is the part you have to consider...loyalty scores big points with me. It doesn't matter to me that once upon a time he let me down. All that matters to me, is that when it seriously counted, and I desperately needed a friend, he was one of the few still by my side. We've both done not so nice things to the other person, but the reality is that it has become a friendship marked by unconditionality.
We've both learned a LOT of things about forgiveness.
For myself, it was one of the greatest failures of my life. It taught me how to love someone, completely and without limits, even when that person hurt me the most. There was a brief period where I couldn't stand to face him. But I could never wish anything but the very best for him. Even when that didn't include me. And when that old moniker karma came along, I couldn't feel anything but sadness for his own hurt. He taught me what it really means to love another person, in spite of who they are. To not hold their faults against them, to pray for their happiness and success, to be willing to lay down my life, for even a day of theirs.
From a biblical perspective, Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. -- John 15:13.
From my favorite movie, The Notebook: The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds, and that's what you've given me. That's what I hope to give to you forever.
I began this post from the conviction of that quote, found as I was looking for quotes on unconditional love. It's on my mind, as I begin yet another journey in my life. In reliving the past, I want it to be known that I'm not harboring any old hurt or resentment from what used to be. Those days are gone, and now I'm grateful every day for the special friend in my life, the one I know I can call upon at any time. For story swapping, advice, help, or just an ear to vent. It takes time for these kinds of friendships to form. Time, and a deep knowledge of the other person.
I often use the word "transitory" to describe the relationships we have in our lives, and they are often just that. People come, and people go. You find that over the years, some just stick. These are the people whose numbers you never lose. These are the people that you can go days, months, years without talking to, and when that conversation finally occurs, it's like no time at all has passed. Some of my greatest friendships have been forged with people that caused a lot of pain. Such is the nature of love.
Unconditional love is truly an amazing gift. Something that we give freely to another person, regardless of the circumstances. The people close to me, the people I consider
Loving others is easy. It's in the nuances of life, that we find out how WE are loved.
So I sit at a crossroads, faced with wonder at what will come in this next period. Time will tell me where my emotions really lie. I knew someone whose happiness was my complete and total goal. I loved them without restrictions, and unselfishly. Now, I'm sifting through the anger and hurt of the situation, and it's hard to feel a lot of positive emotions. I'm praying, and I'm trying.
I keep asking myself if it's worth it, but only God knows the answer to that question. I made a lot of mistakes, as always, and now I'm waiting to see what amazing things He is going to do with those. As always, I wait upon the Lord, always putting Him first, seeking His counsel, and striving everyday to be a Godly woman.
Thank goodness His grace is new every morning.
No comments:
Post a Comment