The writer's block is there, but I'm just pushing through as hard as I can. I have 3.3 papers left to write (because I've managed to almost finish one) in 10 days. One of them is a 12-15 research paper that I know is going to hurt my brain. But it's not due til next Friday. There is another long research paper to write, and I just found out I have to scrap everything I had and start from scratch...it's due Sunday. The third is a short (5 page) literary analysis of an OT passage, also due Sunday. Added to that all the normal reading, writing, and testing that happens every week. I was ahead when the semester started, and here I am, behind again. I just keep praying for endurance.
Added to that, I'm sick - I think I have the flu - and I don't really want to do anything except sleep, but I have way too much schoolwork to do to even consider that. Every morning I wake up and want to just lay there and rest my poor sick body, but my mind starts screaming at me to finish all the above mentioned work. I'm sure the stress is not helping my physical condition at all.
Oh, AND, I'm still extremely broke. Suffice to say that I'm still trying to not have my phone or electricity turned off. I work, I donate plasma (probably why I'm so sick), and I eat ramen noodles. Why is this so hard???? I hate being poor. As a side note, and why not, right? There is a button at the bottom of this page to support my blog. If you happen to be feeling in the generous Christmas spirit, I could most definitely use the help.
Last, of course, the 6 week "curse" came last week. I should probably explain this just a little bit. The guy from the truth posts has previously infiltrated my situation every single semester in week 6. Each time in the past, it has thrown me for a tailspin emotionally and spiritually, and in succumbing to the obvious temptation, I did myself in. True to form, something happened last week. I got this, hmm, I guess it was a letter, of semi explanation, and requesting forgiveness. Seriously, COULD YOU NOT HAVE WAITED UNTIL AFTER THE SEMESTER WAS OVER????? My initial response still, is "why bother?" I did not, and do not, need an explanation. The apology was nice, but in asking my forgiveness, I was obligated to respond.
The freedom (blog post on that coming soon) that I have gained since cutting the ties has been amazing and marvelous. I don't want to go back to the bondage I was living in before. Every time I see him now, I want to quote Jesus and say, Get behind me Satan! Now, I'm not saying in any way that this person is the devil, but we all know that he uses other people, even Christians, to harm us. And the enemy loves to use this particular person against me. I don't care if I have to hide for the next two weeks, but I am closing my eyes, plugging my ears, refusing to let even a hint of communication sway me from the path I chose. The Bible says flee from immorality, and I think about Joseph and Potipher's wife.
Just, ugh...on all fronts right now. Completely directed at Satan's attempts to ruin God's calling in my life, as he always does, every semester, faithfully at the 6-8 week mark. I hate that guy.
No comments:
Post a Comment