Peace Three

I ended the last portion with the phrase, "It's not fair..." Sometimes I use the poor me attitude, and Sunday was one of those moments. It's in the after, however, that the real peace came to me. I chose the titles for this story based on a play on sounds of the words piece and peace. The truth is that the experience of last year, the dysfunction of the relationship, the hurtful, destructive things that happened, left me shattered in pieces. As soon as I would put everything back together and let God start to heal, something else would break. It was exhausting. In the three months since I have put this behind me, peace has become something that is easy to experience, and I am healed and set free.

In the midst of all this emerged something that has taken me by surprise. I'm not exactly a people person, although I often do a good impression of it. I tend to prefer a few intensely intimate friendships to having a large amount of superficial ones. These people mean the world to me, and are there for good days and bad ones. I had a lot of bad days during all this, and although many people were there to hold me up, there is one that was always there when it fell apart most. It's funny, because I didn't realize it until recently.

Every time said person let me down, in big huge massive ways, this person was my rock, my shoulder to cry on (literally), and somewhat randomly just THERE. The experience I recounted was no exception, but the difference this time, was that this person was the only one that I wanted to be there for me. Quickly, and to the point, I realized one major truth about fairness and reality:

With the person I mentioned, I am happier, more fulfilled, and more intimately honest than I ever was in the past, or than the past is presently (most likely) with his new girlfriend. Just because they were holding hands and looking happy, does not mean that they have a relationship built on enduring, lasting love and affection...but I do!!!!! 

Maybe my situation is a little complicated and confusing, but I don't really care, because at the heart of this friendship is genuine friendship...something which is deserved and earned, and incredibly uplifting...something that he does not have. And so now I am able to simply shrug off the events of Sunday, pray that those two act righteously, and enjoy and embrace what I have, which is immensely better!!!!!