Misplaced Effort

Confession: Sometimes I get tired of being nice.

I wonder if that means I'm not a nice person, or if I just get sick of having it thrown back in my face. I have a friend that refers to it as "pouring in" to other people, and I am very guilty of doing this. Maybe you've done it: a phone call that isn't really convenient because you know someone needs to hear an encouraging word...or making time for someone that really isn't your normal type of friend because they need support....or giving a kind word to someone that has hurt you because you're genuinely proud that they're doing well...

But I keep "pouring in" to people that I see...people that need to hear that they are special, and chosen, and that the way in which they are living their lives is in someway beautiful and unique. There are times, however, when I really don't want to. When what I really want to do is run the other direction. Even worse, say something unkind or breathe the brutal truth.

I cannot do those things. If my primary goal is to become more and more like Jesus, I have to ask myself how He would respond in a situation. I do not always like the answer to that question. A different friend and I had a conversation just last night about how to react to people that hurt you. His suggestion was to simply ignore them, or respond to them the same way. I am not allowed to act this way, however. I must have grace, infinitely, for other people.

In talking about the woman with the perfume in Matthew 26, Kris Vallotton says that "the disciples did not have a perspective of honor in their hearts and it distorted their understanding of stewardship. They saw what the woman did for Jesus as a waste. Jesus said that her extravagant honor would make her famous. Honor will change the way we see the King and the manner in which we relate to His sons and daughters."

We are called and required to validate and affirm other people in our lives. Why does it have to suck so much sometimes? Yeah, I said that, because the truth is that I like to keep it real here, and the reality is that having pure kindness, offered in agape-shaped love, relegated to nothing...just sucks.

Then I realize that apparently it's the right thing to do. Because if it makes you feel even a fraction of what Jesus felt on that cross--the betrayal, and love, and hurt, and agony, and despair--then it's probably in line with the choice He would have made.

What choices have you made that you felt were right, but left you hurting nonetheless?