I'm pushing into the unknown of a blank page at this very moment...certain that there is plenty to be said, but not particularly concerned about the literary grandeur of how I get there. This week has been one for the books. I have been glorious, sad, exhausted, angry, and stressed. You can easily click through the last couple of the posts to see that I was definitely confused about a lot of things earlier in the week, which were interspersed with some really amazing moments. My trials are always thus, simply because my God is loving and faithful, even in the hard moments.
I battled some intense spiritual warfare all week, the enemy playing on all his favorite weak spots. Inside my head, telling me lies, tripping me up, causing uncertainty, creating massive distractions from the things that God has called and positioned me to do. Pressing onward toward the goal of the prize (Phil 3:14), I have prayed intensely, lamented, wailed, and if I had some sackcloth, I'm sure I would have worn it. Working from no sleep, I began my Friday with resolve: coffee at 9:30pm and racing thoughts kept me in a cycle Thursday evening during which I listened to a LOT of Jesus Culture and got some serious prayer time. As I ran around haphazardly Friday doing too many errands on no sleep, I kept reminding myself that I could sleep in a few hours...which turned into another sleepless night.
After nearly 60 hours of no sleep, I finally got to rest my overly weary head, soul, and body. Before blissful unawareness came, however, I resolved all the issues that were coming at me, and found a place of peace, helped along significantly by someone who has come to mean a great deal to me. I'll come back to all this another time. As wonderful, fulfilling, gratifying, and joyful this particular relationship makes me, this is about someone who does NOT make me that way.
NEXT: Peace Two
No comments:
Post a Comment